And Such

Sexy? Or Sleazy?

Click here to view my published article on HerCampus.

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When dressing to impress, there can be a fine line between what is sexy and what is sleazy.  In a recent interview I conducted with guys between the ages of 20 and 24, I found they all had a common, clear opinion between sexy and sleazy.  A “slutty and sleazy look” was certainly one of their biggest turnoffs.  And this doesn’t just refer to how a girl is dressed.  “The way she carries herself is an extremely hot turn-on; and, just as critically, it can be an extremely huge turnoff.”  Sleazy will never be classified as sexy.  I asked my interviewees to define sleazy, and one of the guys summed it up pretty directly. “Sleazy is simply easy to get, use, and be done with the next morning!”

First impressions are extremely important, so aim for classy.  Think of it this way, girls. Captivate a guy you meet and want to get to know better with a tantalizing book cover, without giving away the entire story and juicy details.  As always, less is more.  Leave your man wanting to read each chapter in great detail…and let him fantasize about the plot and details!  “A little bit of mystery is sexy…after all, the chase is the best part of a relationship.”

Here are some tips to keep in mind when keeping it classy:

– Act your age.  Not far beyond your years, and certainly not younger“Girls that still act like freshmen…grow up.”

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– Dress accordingly with clothing pieces that accentuate your best assets and highlight the features that you want to show off.  In the same regard, educate yourself on cuts, styles, and prints that work best with your body type to tone down any features that are less flattering.  Nobody looks sexy when his or her clothes don’t fit right or well.

– You don’t have to be a small size to be firm and tight.  Diet and exercise play a major role in keeping fit. Regardless of what size you are, make sure you are staying healthy.

– Clothing should fit properly.  Don’t wear that hot pink bodycon dress if you have to suck in and not exhale for most of the night. If it’s way too tight and your puppies are uncontrollably popping out, guys will surely take notice…but not in a good way.

– Adding onto the previous statement, no one wants to see more than half of your boobage hanging out.  Be careful, you don’t want to knock someone’s eye out with those babies!  Wear properly fitting undergarments.  A subtle expression of cleavage is sexy.  ‘Big-bad-boys-a-poppin’ are sending the wrong message.

– “Mini dresses are really sexy, but only if the girl can wear them well and work the look.”  You should be able to sit and walk gracefully and be comfortable with the way your body fits into it.  Don’t wear something just because you like it.  If it doesn’t like you back, cut your losses, and wear something that really loves you!

– Some simple looks are plain and sexy when done right:  A fitted V-neck.   Tight skinny jeans. Wedges (with a great pedicure).  Red glossy lips.  A cotton button-down tied at the bottom (with a vibrant bandeau underneath).  Your hair thrown up in a messy, sexy up-do bun.  That just-out-of-the-shower look on a hot summer day. These will all do the trick.

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– “A natural look is really sexy.  I like a girl to look awesome, without looking like she’s trying so hard to look good.”  Now when he quoted “natural,” he wasn’t talking about the extremes: not shaving your legs, not plucking your eyebrows or not flossing.  Grooming should be a constant routine.  Take care of your body consistently, and it will take care of you.  General maintenance is a must. There is no slacking at all on this subject.  Treat yourself to a relaxing mani & pedi once in awhile to keep those babies fresh, pampered and clean.

– Some of the guys I spoke with said that they like it when the girl takes initiative.  “This is, however, after we have already started seeing one another and interest on both sides has been established.”  Everyone that I interviewed agrees that there is a huge difference between drunkenly throwing yourself at a guy, and having some class when you’re making your move. “Timing is everything.”

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– Know when to talk, and be intuitive and to when to just keep it shut.  “No guy…ever…wants to hear a girl talking non-stop.”  Cut out the miscellaneous “totally,” “like,” and “omgosh.”  One of the guys made it clear: “I want to be able to talk to her and have a conversation. I like when things are kept interesting, instead of the girls that only know how to say ‘totallyyy.’”

There you go!  Some looks and actions are sexy, while some are sleazy.  Some girls can pull off a certain look or action, and some girls can’t.  If you’re not sure whether or not something is too tight, too short, too fitted, or appropriate…. proceed with caution.  When that little voice inside of you is second-guessing a look or making you wonder if it’s less than perfect, it usually is.

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